The Truth

The truth is in my heart and in my eyes.
It's lying right there and can't be disguised.
But I can distract you and I can make you laugh,
and you won't see the truth that lies beneath the smile.

The truth is the fear that I hide.

I still see that 5 year old small girl who was so hurt and scared at falling off her bicycle that very first time. How could the world be that cruel to one so small and trusting.

So I swallowed my fears and my need to scoop you up and wrap you in bubble wrap and put you on a shelf where you could be safe and nothing could reach you. Because that was not how to live a life full of adventures and possibilities.

Instead, I praised the very awsomeness of a spectacular crash. I found ridiculous words, exuberant jesticulations and high-fives to praise what was a phenomenally frightening moment in your world. I took quick inventory that you were not badly hurt, and moved you forward, without your input to celebrating a fearful moment.

You wanted to put the bike away and never look back...and I wanted to as well. Then I would not have to watch you, the sidewalk, the side streets, the people walking and running, the cars driving way too fast for one so small on two wheels in such a very very large world.

But that was not how to show you that life is full of adventures and possibilities. Instead, I wiped your tears and gave you the full and honest truth. You were going to fall. Alot. Many times it may be a bump or a scrape and occassionally a good crash and it would hurt and be frightening...

...and then we will dust you off, pick you up, put you back on the bike and cheer you as you peddal down the road to the next adventure and possibility that is waiting for you to find it.

Because the fear cannot hold you back from doing what others cannot and would not do.

The truth is in my heart and in my eyes. It's lying right there and can't be disguised. But I can distract you and make you laugh and you won't see, the truth that lies beneath the smile.

The truth is the fear that I hide. It's not that I don't care...it's because I care so very very much that I hide the fear I have inside. And I hope that when you are grown and have children and a family of your own, you will understand it so much more.

I love you my beautiful brave adventurous girl.