Thursday, April 19, 2012

Okay, time got away from me...

Ooops, been a bit since I posted. Where did the days go? Anything trite I might come up, platitudes for the readers or non-readers at this point, would be glarringly obvious to the millions of you who come here to read what golden threads of wisdom I impart to become part of the tapestry and fabric of your daily lives. (Was that thick enough, or shall I go on?)

Any who...moving forward.

I won't make banal promises of daily postings or postings multiple times a day. But I will make sure to get something up at least once a week...yeah, that sounds good.

So what has distracted me from the goal of blogging? You mean aside from life? Well, life. Yep, this whole working Mom, amazing wife, supermodel on the side thing can make for a pretty busy calendar.

Yep, had some issues with Daisy that required full attention. Then there's the whole work thing (I don't do it for the paycheck, but I really do it for the people. I have a GREAT time there!). Taking care of the puppies. Being an amazing wife and anything else that comes along.

Current distractions? That is just too much fun, especially if you've got an inquisitive mind that doesn't get stretched too terribly much. Trying to research the Hubby's familia so I can make (a) a cool family tree for him and (b) ultimately, a scrapbook with photos, information and memorabilia about his family. To date, I haven't even scratched the surface, but it's terribly addictive and makes me want to REALLY dig deeper!

Alright, it's on peeps.

Friday, February 03, 2012

Ah, the glory job of a parent

Tonight, I was that parent in Target.

I was the one who in the car, outside the car in the parking lot, 2 minutes after walking in to the store, in between the cards and the wrapping paper holding a crying child and finally part way to the ladies t-shirt sale rack had the child melting down. Repeatedly.

We're talking, lather, rinse, repeat here.

No idea what set it off. Haven't gotten to the bottom of it. But when the scene warm-up commenced and then people started to stare, that's when a cart full of "things" that needed to be picked up didn't matter.

That's when, after sharing with said unhappy 8 year old, that her unkind words needed to stop because she was coming close to a line she didn't want to cross.

Then the unkind words took an uptic and the line was crossed and my heart was hurt. I shared that the unkind words were done and that until she had something kind to say, starting with "I'm sorry", there would be no further conversation. I then walked away from a cart, with groceries and snacks that she needs for tomorrow morning and to the car and home.

The dirty looks and attitude continued. I gave her a hug and told her "I love you" and meant it. I fixed her dinner and let her eat and web-talk with Daddy in peace and got laundry started. I let her have 20 minutes for reading and turned out the light and said good night and sweet dreams...and meant it.

Once the lights were off, I got a "I'm sorry...will you forgive me?". I told her, "I forgave you the moment you said the words. Sweet dreams."

The slings and arrows that a parent takes to the heart.

Wednesday, January 04, 2012

The Truth

The truth is in my heart and in my eyes.
It's lying right there and can't be disguised.
But I can distract you and I can make you laugh,
and you won't see the truth that lies beneath the smile.

The truth is the fear that I hide.

I still see that 5 year old small girl who was so hurt and scared at falling off her bicycle that very first time. How could the world be that cruel to one so small and trusting.

So I swallowed my fears and my need to scoop you up and wrap you in bubble wrap and put you on a shelf where you could be safe and nothing could reach you. Because that was not how to live a life full of adventures and possibilities.

Instead, I praised the very awsomeness of a spectacular crash. I found ridiculous words, exuberant jesticulations and high-fives to praise what was a phenomenally frightening moment in your world. I took quick inventory that you were not badly hurt, and moved you forward, without your input to celebrating a fearful moment.

You wanted to put the bike away and never look back...and I wanted to as well. Then I would not have to watch you, the sidewalk, the side streets, the people walking and running, the cars driving way too fast for one so small on two wheels in such a very very large world.

But that was not how to show you that life is full of adventures and possibilities. Instead, I wiped your tears and gave you the full and honest truth. You were going to fall. Alot. Many times it may be a bump or a scrape and occassionally a good crash and it would hurt and be frightening...

...and then we will dust you off, pick you up, put you back on the bike and cheer you as you peddal down the road to the next adventure and possibility that is waiting for you to find it.

Because the fear cannot hold you back from doing what others cannot and would not do.

The truth is in my heart and in my eyes. It's lying right there and can't be disguised. But I can distract you and make you laugh and you won't see, the truth that lies beneath the smile.

The truth is the fear that I hide. It's not that I don't's because I care so very very much that I hide the fear I have inside. And I hope that when you are grown and have children and a family of your own, you will understand it so much more.

I love you my beautiful brave adventurous girl.